I want a new guy best friend... and no, it's not to replace someone else for whatever reason. It's different to have a guy friend, regardless of whomever develops feelings (and someone always will to an extent, but they are always curbed).
Having a guy best friend is great. They will not be jealous of you, they will not try to snatch any attention you get, and they don't have hormonal imbalances. Instead they will look out for you, give you guy advice rather than have the same taste as you, and most importantly be funny. A friendship with a straight guy is like having a boyfriend, minus the problems of course.
With that said, I realize that all I really might be looking for is a boyfriend; disguised behind the fact that I don't need one and that I refuse to admit to myself that someone to care for, and who in turn would care for me, is 1. actually out there, and 2. something I want to have.
On another note, this was the best Valentine/Valentine weekend I remember having.
Happy Valentine's Day
-M
Monday, February 14, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
School...
It is 12:35am and I have class in the morning. On a Saturday. This marks the beginning of yet another semester. I am 22 and still without a degree. It seems like I am the only one going back to school this semester, and I feel like a failure.
My grandmother spent two days in the hospital last week for what we feared was her heart, but thankfully ended up being a pinched nerve in her left shoulder. In the midst of all the action, I both remembered why I had given up on being a doctor, and questionned my decision once more. I already know it. The doctor thing is forever going to be heavy on me, into infinity and beyond. I was actually weighing my options and how long it would take me to graduate if I were to continue the Accounting major and add on the pre-reqs for medical school. Not to mention needing to tremendously boost my GPA. I also considered the likeliness of a post-grad program. All this, of course, would leave me back at square 1 and with a useless double-major in Political Science and Accounting, which already doesn't make sense to anyone; or 2 semesters and a summer session wasted on Accounting given I start on the medicine thing now.
I am disorganized and undecided, and at my age, that's no longer cool. I do not have the option of leisurly picking and choosing what I want, and even more so I do not have the time to waste on going back on the decisions I do make; if I want to get anywhere that is. This is the time when I need to cut my losses, stick to the path I am on, and move on without looking back, because what's behind me is only going to keep me in place longer.
-M
My grandmother spent two days in the hospital last week for what we feared was her heart, but thankfully ended up being a pinched nerve in her left shoulder. In the midst of all the action, I both remembered why I had given up on being a doctor, and questionned my decision once more. I already know it. The doctor thing is forever going to be heavy on me, into infinity and beyond. I was actually weighing my options and how long it would take me to graduate if I were to continue the Accounting major and add on the pre-reqs for medical school. Not to mention needing to tremendously boost my GPA. I also considered the likeliness of a post-grad program. All this, of course, would leave me back at square 1 and with a useless double-major in Political Science and Accounting, which already doesn't make sense to anyone; or 2 semesters and a summer session wasted on Accounting given I start on the medicine thing now.
I am disorganized and undecided, and at my age, that's no longer cool. I do not have the option of leisurly picking and choosing what I want, and even more so I do not have the time to waste on going back on the decisions I do make; if I want to get anywhere that is. This is the time when I need to cut my losses, stick to the path I am on, and move on without looking back, because what's behind me is only going to keep me in place longer.
-M
Friday, October 8, 2010
Movies: Art imitating life.
When do I start watching movies again? In the fall when the wanderlust in me kicks in, when everything is boring, and I feel stuck. Stuck at work, stuck at school, stuck in my own head. After the near-freedom the summer gives me, I am back to the old routine of everything that shackles my life into full circles and mediocre repetitions. I have no interest in the mundane activities of my life, and I just want to run far away, to a new land I have not yet discovered, and spend my life learning its inner secrets.
Since the circumstances in my life, as well as myself, do not ever allow me to physically get away, I find movies to be a great exit strategy. For an hour and a half to three hours, I can watch someone else's life play out in front of me. I can know their story, learn about their character, their way of life, process of thought. I can either relate to the characters, sympathize with them, or plain dislike them. But more importantly, I can stop being me for a little while. I don't have to "keep on truckin'". I can just live vicariously through the characters, and tag along on their journey as if it were my own; effortlessly and quite inexpensive.
I know, it doesn't sound very healthy. I would drown in that world forever if I could... But then again since I'm only exploring possibilities, if I could, I'd be out there experiencing, and being the movie rather than just watching it.
The perk? Foreign film! Since I could remember I've wanted to travel the world, and at a snail's pace I am; though I do very much want the whirlwind, mind-blowing, literal "tour du monde". How great would that be, to just spend my life, backpacking across the world, visiting so many cultures and civilizations, and experiencing their lives and their customs? It would be beyond great.
Since the circumstances in my life, as well as myself, do not ever allow me to physically get away, I find movies to be a great exit strategy. For an hour and a half to three hours, I can watch someone else's life play out in front of me. I can know their story, learn about their character, their way of life, process of thought. I can either relate to the characters, sympathize with them, or plain dislike them. But more importantly, I can stop being me for a little while. I don't have to "keep on truckin'". I can just live vicariously through the characters, and tag along on their journey as if it were my own; effortlessly and quite inexpensive.
I know, it doesn't sound very healthy. I would drown in that world forever if I could... But then again since I'm only exploring possibilities, if I could, I'd be out there experiencing, and being the movie rather than just watching it.
The perk? Foreign film! Since I could remember I've wanted to travel the world, and at a snail's pace I am; though I do very much want the whirlwind, mind-blowing, literal "tour du monde". How great would that be, to just spend my life, backpacking across the world, visiting so many cultures and civilizations, and experiencing their lives and their customs? It would be beyond great.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Look Who's Blogging Now...
So I have joined the "Bloggers". I'm not sure what has compelled me to do so. I'm not a writer. I never was. I'm a reader; a thinker at best. I have spoken out against, and denounced, the majority of bloggers, and refuse to get on Twitter. Yet here I am, starting my own blog.
This is a small step outside of the box, hopefully leading to some enlightened understanding of life through observances, nuisances, and lessons learned... Maybe even come to a compromise with norms,hypocrisy, and general behaviors of other people, and my own.
Welcome to Mirror for the Vain: Transcending the Shackled Mind.
This is a small step outside of the box, hopefully leading to some enlightened understanding of life through observances, nuisances, and lessons learned... Maybe even come to a compromise with norms,hypocrisy, and general behaviors of other people, and my own.
Welcome to Mirror for the Vain: Transcending the Shackled Mind.
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