School...

It is 12:35am and I have class in the morning. On a Saturday. This marks the beginning of yet another semester. I am 22 and still without a degree. It seems like I am the only one going back to school this semester, and I feel like a failure.

My grandmother spent two days in the hospital last week for what we feared was her heart, but thankfully ended up being a pinched nerve in her left shoulder. In the midst of all the action, I both remembered why I had given up on being a doctor, and questionned my decision once more. I already know it. The doctor thing is forever going to be heavy on me, into infinity and beyond. I was actually weighing my options and how long it would take me to graduate if I were to continue the Accounting major and add on the pre-reqs for medical school. Not to mention needing to tremendously boost my GPA. I also considered the likeliness of a post-grad program. All this, of course, would leave me back at square 1 and with a useless double-major in Political Science and Accounting, which already doesn't make sense to anyone; or 2 semesters and a summer session wasted on Accounting given I start on the medicine thing now.

I am disorganized and undecided, and at my age, that's no longer cool. I do not have the option of leisurly picking and choosing what I want, and even more so I do not have the time to waste on going back on the decisions I do make; if I want to get anywhere that is. This is the time when I need to cut my losses, stick to the path I am on, and move on without looking back, because what's behind me is only going to keep me in place longer.

-M